Image transcription:
Computer science terms that sound like fantasy RPG abilities
I’ll start:
- Firewall
- Virtual Memory
- Single source of truth
- Lossless Compression (this one sounds really powerful for some reason)
Your turn
Hard mode: Try not to include closer to domain-specific things like javascript library names
Python runtime. Time for you to run from these pythons bitch.
BSOD. Pretty self-explanatory
Agile development. Raises Dex everytime a new enemy enters vision.
- rowhammer
- rainbow table
- global interpreter lock
- race condition (atrocity?)
- core dump
rainbow table
You win the thread. That is straight up out the old school Player’s Handbook.
Kernel Space - banishes the target to a plane of existence filled with corn
B Tree - an AOE summon of a permanent swarm of bees in the targeted area until the bees all die or leave naturally
Monad - device that transmutes one set of spell components into another. These can be strung together to form very complex things.
Extended Backus-Naur Form - Allows one to transform into a memetic form to be carried in the mind of another; also extends to your clothing and any carried items.
Bounds execption: Allows larger objects to fit in smaller containers, ritual spell effective for 1 day, can be upcast to increase amount of “overfill”, some check when retrieving the item for a chance of “corruption” (small chance to retrieve a different item, or have the “overfill” become something different like have the outer edge of a bar of gold be meat)
Paralellization: High level time magic, Allows the target multiple turns to be taken simultaneously, but an equivalent cooldown afterwards (waiting for all threads or jobs to return before being able to continue), so 3 turns at once means 2 turns the target can’t do anything after.
Split brain configuration: Allows focusing on multiple concentration checks/spells at once. This could also be called paralellization, or multithreaded.
Pass By Reference enchantment: requires two identical items. Once enchanted, changes to one happen to both. Room for all sorts of shenanigans.
Private field: cast on an area to prevent entry/visibility into it by unauthorized entities. Sounds inside are not audible to unauthorized entities outside of it.
I had a bit too much fun with these :)
Magical Items
- The Bandwidth Cap
Cursed item that limits the magical power of it’s wearer - The Token Ring
Magical ring that allows the wielder to communicate over large distances. They can receive messages from one token ring and send message to another. - The Memory Barrier
Protective charm that shields the mind from intrusion. - The Shadow Register
A magical ledger that records secrets and hidden locations in the immediate area. - The Superscalar
A legendary shimmering sword that can strike multiple foes in a single attack.
Spells
- Loopback
Redirects a spell to its point of origin. - Jabber
Causes the target to produce incoherent speech and lose its train of thought. - Branch Prediction
Gives the caster foresight to predict their opponent’s next action. - Traceroute
A tracking spell that reveals the path of a target. - Mask
Hides the caster’s true identity. - Hypertransport
Enables instantaneous movement over short distances. - Interrupt
Counterspell to disrupt an enemy’s casting.
Spell modifiers
- Broadcast
Modifies spell to affect a large area. - Unicast
Modifies spell to affect a single point with maximum damage. - Multicast
Modfies spell to affect multiple selected targets. - Repeater
Modifies spell to recast itself over multiple turns.
- The Bandwidth Cap
This just reinforces that one short of piratesoftware saying all programmers are wizards.
- Hypervisor
- time daemon
- privilege escalation
The Privilege Escalation hits hard
- Cache miss
- Bubble Sort
- Vectorization
- Multithread
- Checksum Mismatch
- Raise Exception
- Zombie Process
- Parallelization
- Segmentation Fault
- Force Commit
- Signal Abort
- Signal Kill
- Balance Nodes
- Stack Overflow
- Core Dump
- Reverse Tunnel
- Dynamic Forwarding
I don’t know what kind of spells these would be but I fear the wizard who knows them.
- Brute Force Attack
- Markov Chain
- Singular Matrix
- Pow
- map
- bind
- variable name (thief’s favorite)
- Ballmer Peak
- Fourier Transformation (2nd level: FFT)
- Gaussian Elimination
- Double
Rust - rusts metal. When miscast, makes the target a crab of some sort
Go - Same as “command” spell
Regular Expression - makes any cryptic message understandable in a language you know
Transfer Protocol - allows the teleportation of one packet to a willing host
Read Only - cast on a book, scroll or any other thing with written words. Ensures no further words can be written. No scribbles or any sort of artwork will stick either. The object can still be destroyed
Icon - For a short period, the target of the spell becomes a beloved, or hated, icon of a subject. IE: beloved icon of beauty, hated icon of music.
Master Boot Record - this magical list contains all the master level boots ever created and their current whereabouts
Partition Table - allows any object with at least 2 flat sides to be cut into any shape
Artificers use assembly language to cast their spells.
1st level wild shape ability byte.
4th level wild shape ability megabyte.
8th level wild shape ability gigabyte.
9th level wild shape ability terabyteBonus 0th level ability: nibble
Default Gateway
Split Horizon
Routing Overhead
Broadcast Storm
edit:fkn markdown
Split Horizon sounds really high-level.
Memoization
Easily my vote for the most unweildy named concept in software development.
It always reads like a typo of memorization. Not exactly an accident, of course. Memorize is memory + -ize, while memoize is memo + -ize, and memo is short for memorandum, which comes from memory. Both terms refer to some kind of storage and retreival of information. The similarities are deliberate.
My gripe with it is that memo in my head exclusively refers to a one-paragraph email sent to my company to notify me about something. Not remembering something. Definitely not the very specific case of linking input parameters to results of pure functions.
So we have this made-up word that looks suspiciously like an existing word that is related and means something related but is not the same thing, and the words it is actually adapted from don’t mean the thing it’s supposed to mean. Thanks, I hate it.
Really ought to call memoization what it what it really is. Lazy-loaded lookup tables.