• Technology Consultant.
  • Software Developer.
  • Musician.
  • Burner.
  • Game Master.
  • Non-theistic Pagan.
  • Cishet White Male Feminist.
  • Father.
  • Fountain Maker.
  • Aquarium Builder.
  • Hamster Daddy.
  • Resident of Colorado.
  • Anti-Capitalist.
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  • Traveler of the American West.
  • 5 Posts
  • 149 Comments
Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: June 7th, 2023

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  • Hammer of Striking. Social bonuses when organizing labor. Combat bonuses only when near many allies.

    Pair this with the Sickle of Means. Does double damage and gives Ranger favored enemy bonuses against employers, nobility, land owners and clerics, so long as the wielder forswears ever becoming any of those things. When used to harvest grain, doubles the speed at which grain can be harvested and magically doubles the final yield of the harvest as well. However, if the grain is not freely and equitably distributed (especially if the wielder charges for it), the next time they use the sickle they will immediately fumble and critically hit themselves for max damage.


  • Wrong. Fuck printers. Fuck everything about them, from the tree death camps, to the overpriced proprietary ink to the way manufacturers have done fuck-all about fixing their known wifi glitches for literally 30 years. Thank god I’m at a point in my career where the only people who want me to troubleshoot printers are my family, and what I charge them for it is having to listen to me scornfully rant that if you figure out how to work without a printer, Hewlett-Packard has a problem but if you don’t YOU have a problem. A bunch of problems, given how frequently my dad and sister beg for support. My wife got sick enough of the rant that she finally stopped using hers, it’s been sitting on a shelf in our garage for the last two years. I think she’s frustrated about not being able to print sometimes, but oh well, she can go to Kinko’s or walk over to my dad’s house and use his (which will result in me getting a phone call “Hey @thebard, your wife is here trying to print something and the printer’s not working, we tried turning it off and on, but it still won’t print, can you…”



  • A potion of True Healing… heals 1d8+2 damage, recipient MUST truthfully answer the next question they are asked. Sell the characters 6, but don’t tell them about the truth serum. Let them figure it out on their own.

    Boots of Elvenkind… except Elves can hear you.

    A bag of holding that contains infinite clowns. Every time it is opened, 1d4 clowns come out. The clowns are useless in combat and attempt to distract, annoy and mock the holder. While this could be used as a distraction, the clowns will follow the holder, drawing attention to them. You could create a table for what kind of clowns you get (mime clowns, pie throwing clowns, balloon animal clowns, magician clowns, etc). The clowns will wander off after 1d6 minutes. Where the clowns go and what they are (Illusions? Demons?) is unknown.