True polymorph is a hell of a drug.

Does Lemmy have a maps without New Zealand community?

🫳🏃‍➡️

My favorite go to, one I’ve used twice in the same campaign and no one was the wiser, is to throw some ridiculous fight at the party out of nowhere, let them sweat it out for a round or two, and start dropping hints it isn’t what it seems.

I had them stumble across a black dragon in a cave as a lvl 1 party once. After scaring the shit out of them, for a round or two, someone “finally noticed” that the wings seemed to be made of tar covered cloth. Druid did a nature check and realized that’s not what a black dragon roar sounds like at all. Literally 5 kobolds in a dragon coat.

One time, I thought we had canceled but everyone pinged me about why I wasn’t logged in to roll20 yet (got my weeks mixed up). Luckily one other person did too, so I told the party I was going to puppet their character so they would level up too. I had that character betray the party by leading them to a trap. They defeated the player character (I used their actual character sheet to fight the party), for them to discover it was a doppelganger, and the trap was the diopleganger’s lair. they solved through a bunch of traps and random creatures from the diopleganger’s managerie of tortured -to-the-point-of-insanity minor monsters until they found the actual player character that (as they discovered) had been kidnapped the night before.

One other time l, over lockdowns, I had a friend miss a few months of sessions due to some serious and very depressing circumstances. He still wanted to continue once life had calmed down. We were doing an Avernus campaign, and I had been NPCing his character, but I told him to fast forward to his character to the current party level (about 6 levels) and not tell anyone he was going to rejoin the play sessions or log into roll20 until I gave him the go ahead. About 15 minutes in, the party is sailing down the river Styx when they see a damaged flying fortress crash landing, streaking by overhead. They hear a hellish scream and see a buck naked tiefling jumping out of the ship directly for their raft. At this point my friend logs into discord and yells “I WANT MY SHIT BACK YOU IMPOSTER BASTARD!”. combat began immediately whereupon he fought himself and regained all the loot the imposter had been carrying. The party had a hell of a good time that night, and he never did explain (in character) what hell actually happened to him.

We found a race condition in the teleport code. Turns out the efficiency curve for the restoration magic that undoes the disintegration in real time has a parabolic mana requirement related to mass, but disintegrate has a caterneric curve. For human sized stuff they match up, but if you try to teleport something of sufficient mass the restoration starts to draw a disproportionate amount of mana and the whole thing falls apart.

Also, we need to hire some more QA contractors.

Senior QA in the wizard world would actually be a respected title. Can’t make senior if you’re dead, and you can be alive if you’re bad at it.

Conceptually, the nihilists are right! Nothing does matter.

Oh snap, so this guy is on the faaaaaaaar side of the bell curve wearing the hood and agreeing with me. Well played.

Different link for anyone else who got a 404:

https://science.nasa.gov/missions/webb/nasas-webb-hints-at-possible-atmosphere-surrounding-rocky-exoplanet/

wotc should pay dividends in unique rpg modules, then the shareholders get something cool noone else has.

If you’re worried about the veracity of the claims, I can assure you they’re true.

The bar is low, feel free to use it as a step ladder.

transgenic cows produce gilk.

Next logical step: put wings on this puppy and call it a TRANE.

Oh absolutely! That guy does ‘barely contained psycho’ incredibly well!

In the show he was a sociopath with mind control powers, which if you know what he’s capable of (as JJ did), could be fairly intimidating.

David Tennant, not so much 😆 (Although he was terrific in that role)

Me with enough Doritos and maybe a beer: Never, that’s pedantic.

Other me: Roll a damage d4, you missed breathing for two rounds.

oh I like you.

I’m torn between targeting just the worst world leaders or targeting them at random. The end goal would be making every politician understand that a mysterious force WILL turn you into a lizard if you displease it. There will be no indication of what displeases the mysterious force.

Lawful Good:

Foresight to convince the smart, powerful people that they’re making bad decisions, influence them to make better decisions for the world, only use it for enough personal gain to sustain a decent living.

Neutral Good:

Mass Suggestion Convince the dumb powerful people I’m a divine being and they better do as I say, use this power to force positive change amongst the easiest to control masses. Collection plates at churches now go to me.

Chaotic Good:

Gate, Use teleportation to extort billionaires by witnessing their depravity and threatening them with exposure, also portal tech. become Rick Sanchez. Rob swiss banks for fun and profit.

Lawful Evil:

Meteor Swarm: Hold cities hostage for ransom.

Chaotic Evil:

True Polymorph: I’m going to start turning politicians into lizards. For cash I’ll turn random shit into itself but but made out of a different material and auction if off, passing myself off as a great artist of incredible talent.

Edit because I forgot about the money half way through.