Fourth: this isn’t a meme

Joke’s on you, I just plagiarize my backstory from other media or roll for it randomly

Double the trauma, double the drama

10-100 days wages for seemingly a lifetime of prevented deadnaming and misgendering? That seems like a good deal to me.

May I call you Jim?

If we’re talking Teleport the 7th level (in 5e) spell, then nope, no somatic components. Teleportation spells in general about 50/50 whether it does or doesn’t require somatic components. Fewer still require material components, which I expected to be more of an issue, but apparently not.

And the corollary, overbuilt min-max character based solely on researching the meta for hours but only rolls good at things they’re not built to do

You have succinctly described my memory in an amusing fashion. I look forward to forgetting this joke tomorrow.

The orphans are on what kind of meth?

I half expected to scroll down and see a straw poking in the side labeled “the party’s rolls” or something to that effect

Expendo Ammonum

I love Zac’s “I didn’t go inside”

Think of that bell curve meme, I think they’re actually very experienced.

Left side - thinks the main quest will happen, preps that

Middle - thinks side quests will happen instead of main quest, preps that

Right side - thinks about side quests but preps nothing, knowing that neither the main quest or side quests will happen, because the players latch onto a completely innocuous detail that you ad-libbed during a description

Go ask one to its face. It’ll either be mad that you implied it’s less than human, or it’ll be mad that you implied humanity is somehow on par with it.

Turn off network features if you don’t want LetMeSoloHim to do his thing

That would be a fun way to subvert expectations, make it sound like your typical “rats in the cellar” job:

“Yeah, I’ve got a bit of a pest problem in the cellar and you came highly recommended.”

“I mean, we’ve done that in the past, but that’s a bit beneath us now…”

“The job pays quite handsomely.”

“…Well, it better.”

And then the pest problem is a wyrmling and maybe some kobolds

🎶 I saw mimic eating Santa Claus, underneath the mistletoe last night 🎶

🎶 Tigers underwater, Tiger power! 🎶

The diamonds I guess are just to look fabulous?

My group is on indefinite hiatus :(

I don’t really have a way to relate that to the post, but it made me remember that fact