Bonus meme that I found searching for that

My book doesn’t have stats for a fuck horse, did they make an updated Book of Erotic Fantasy (don’t answer that)

Leaves fall, everyone dies

Depending on their level and tactics, yeah.

As a DM that can’t do any good voices, I’m glad option 8 can’t actually come up

Everyone gets their own Tarrasque Companion with some extras to spare

The main thing missing compared to the 3.x version that would hinder the flying archer strategy is its regeneration and needing to use Wish or Miracle to keep it dead. Trolls and Vampires have conditional regeneration, Zombies have Undead Fortitude that gives them a chance not to die when reduced to 0 HP, the concepts were there they just chose not to implement them.

How much do we know about mimic anatomy? Are we sure the two are mutually exclusive?

“I could feed him my candy cane to revive him”

The future that sovereign citizens didn’t know they were striving towards

You don’t roll around much? Jail.

You roll around too much? Believe it or not, jail.

We have the best dice in the world. Because of jail.

No amount of soft skills will get people to read signs though

5e Marut: I’m gonna pretend I didn’t see that

Watch out for that Cloaker, Steve Drowin!

Level Up A5E: I’m here too guys!

Player: Somehow rolls Fuck You +1

GM: …

GM: Uhhhh, I’m gonna need 15 minutes

I’m about 60% certain there’s a magic item that’s essentially a chainsaw in WotC 5e material

They just want to humblebrag about pegging the DM

Meanwhile, me as a STR Fighter: