This is why you tell them sometimes the good result on a low roll.

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Most likely not as it a pixel exclusive that don’t exist in play store that they provide a safe mirror for.

Because I like to throw situations at players and sit back and watch them fumble the execution and yet always come out on top.

I like the middle ground and want a baselin roleplay. So I know what you trying to do, because you appalling to a bandits honor may not work as well as it would with a knight.

The dice result and the passive persuasion compensate for your real life skill or lack.

My game is often based on my experience in corporateworld and my trauma there.

So like me having two meetings last weeks and having three casual discussion regarding same problem. Where we said almost word for word same thing and came to same conclusion.

They will hear the boss plan, and same plan next door. Because I am sure my players would by the third door complete misunderstand the plan making it wonderful when they look at their notes oh that was the plan.

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As a fellow dm this always makes me so sad so many experiences this.

For them it is their fantasy same as someone playing a wizard could be casting spells. But yet we never see dm running every monster having antimagic field or legendary resistance.

Let them feel good and invincible! Let tanks be tanks!

If you want dm here is two tips. 1. Be honest that you lack experience. There is few dm compare to how many players there is that wants to play. That there is tons of understanding and patience as they are just happy to finally play.

If you really unsure try find dms that wants to play. They often know how “difficult” it is in the start out and often really starved on being a player and dying to play.

Go for one shots like The Lost Mine of Phandelver. Great prewritten adventure that takes like 4 sessions(you could go like one part if you really unsure). If it is awful then you never have to see them after that.

If it went okay you can do same one again and this time it will go much better.

If you loved it and you group you can often continue. If you absolutely hated it then you never have to dm again but now you know that.

DM that plays. That clearly a trap but lets trigger it and see what happens.

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Absolutely. That’s why I love when big decisions happens at end of session. Okay you figure out now what I prep to next week.

Instead 10 minutes into session what if we just burn down the whole forest? and all you do lay down screaming when instead of choosing 3 boxes they decided for 6th box.

I think that’s justified to murder them then.

Haha yeah it was good pun.

This is often a problem with dnd discussion that can create discourse. Based on how different we run our table and worlds.

In my world the guards are the patrolling force of city. They are there to create connections local people, throw out Barthus when she has drank to much. To collect information about Grazth boy that run away for the third time and bring her home from drydock. To deter people from trouble. But when it it looks like shit is about hit the fan, Ozloth comes in bloody claiming he saw Kobols in the pasture.

They call in cavalry that are adventure partys.

this loud bunch that came in to town with weapons, armor and training.

Because they expect adventure to be the swat team of my world.

Because you lose two guards because you want to seems big and scary is that really more intimating? Then having money to splurge to get adventure party to wipe out the bandit camp and still have your guards?

now to our sudden drop of department in our supposedly deadly fight against demon Morlucka the swamp king.

I would be weird but I would let them use all the power. If they convinced the department to come down and now they are 35 vs my 9 cultist that is how it is. I think it is a good win for them and I think the player would just think it a cool moment when they “tricked” the GM.

I don’t think would be worth prepping for stuff like that. I would just grab my guard stat block and just roll with it. But I understand completely for someone who prefer more prepare that would not be fun answering all the less fun questions.

Can I say that sounds like cop-out? If rest of party agree and wants to around collect peasants and knights to create an huge army I would let them. If daddy king have standing army that can solve it. Solve it. Don’t make a dnd a freaking Marvel movie where only those 5 are heroes if they don’t want it.

But to your guard question

The guards will first ask why the players have come to them as it is clearly something either sensitive as quest giver went to players instead of guards, it is extremely dangerous as their quest giver hired a mercenary instead of the guard or simple something that she normally do and why guards would not do it.

Guards finds who gave them their quest tells them to hire a better adventuring party because again why not go to guard in first place if not?

But lets ignore you said straight to the guards. The players have found a cult but they feel out matched. I would have the guards join them against the cult if the party split to pay. Reason why they need to be payed is because party got hired to deal with something.

If players say here is cult they have girl deal with it. Guards will deal with it either by doing it self or lay out the work to more competent party

Sometimes I wonder if I run dnd “wrong”.

My players would castrate me if they went up to the guards and they where met by incompetence and I would just hand weave oh the guard won’t help you because they are just static images.

I don’t who Tiberius is, but if he was at my table and wanted to call the army and had established strong bands to governing force. But we assume he would not have a valid cause where the governing force would go of course here is army to protect the land.

With good enough persuasion and paying for the cost for the conscription I would let him.

Why would you not do this?

I don’t get why it would not be enough consequences. The party would fight all over the world against different adventure party’s that dying to be heroes. Every time they entering new town they have to hope the inn don’t have two or more adventure party’s.

I would not call it corrupt. I see it more as a guard job is to keep the common day peace.

But don’t cops lay off work to contractors? The average cop is not going to go down to deal with rabid wolf that terrorizes people. No they send animal control.

Or how in western movies how they put bounties on infamous gangs?

Or private detectives chasing down hard solved crimes.

Or private security firms?

Why would that be different to lay of work to a group that are more suited for that kinda work?

I really like your text but I just want to offer different view on the guards-are-not-competent paradox of games but on steroids.

Among the adventurers there is a sea of dead people trying to be something. But forgotten and killed by the most pathetic of monsters.

Why not take a cosy job guarding city just taking care of what really needs taken care of?

You have a job, home and you get live in end of the day.

Gigantic rats in basement of the local bar? Why risk your life when you can pay for some smucks to risk their life.

Their is underground cult? Tell the barman to pass around rumors and hope someone else wants investigate.

Instead stand around waving your fancy weapons and trinkets bought from nearby magic shop (probably just general store where heroes dumps their trash).