“I don’t understand, if you don’t want crushed orphans, just don’t toss them in the orphan crushing machine”

Well maybe they shouldn’t have an orphan crushing machine in the first place.

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“The door seems normal to you.”

players proceed to analyze the door for an hour, not realizing if they take the stairs slightly to the left, they’ll be taken to the treasure room they’re looking for

I’ve gotten impatient before and snapped “the door rots away from the time you’ve spent arguing and falls open” which just sparked a few minutes of debating whether the building is sentient and will eat them if they enter the door.

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Tune in next week for another exciting episode of 'El Maestro de Mazmorras (dramatic… pause) de Amor"

organ music intensifies

Read this as condescendingly as possible.

“akshyully I’ve been well aware of why casual content appeals to the casual audience. I’m a GAMER.”

But seriously, yeah. Generic plots appeal to the most people because they’re easy to follow. I’ve met a lot of people who hated “The Prestige” because “it was confusing as fuck” and “didn’t make sense”. I admit, I ve seen it four times now and I still caught something new on my last watch. But still. It’s not exactly rocket surgery.

But I really did pull most of that campaign straight from a movieand they ate it up, talked about it like it was an 11 course meal. Instead of a truck stop hotdog with slightly too-green mustard.

Luckily we all lived within the same two blocks, so coordinating was easy. Toss your shit in a bag and walk for 180 seconds, you’re there. It made scheduling much easier when you don’t have to factor in traffic time.

I’m gonna disagree with you on the “you have to railroad them”. There’s a reason I put 6 months of work into it, so there was something to do no matter where they went, and most of it could be shuffled a bit for convenience, most of it had a connection in one way or another to another part, so if they wanted to follow a lead after clearing out the last dungeon there’s a new quest for next session, or you can leave and start walking in a random direction until you find something.

I don’t like filler, so no sessions filled with basically nothing but travel.

This campaign was met weekly, for 3 months. I feel like 10-13 sessions is pretty standard for a decent sized campaign. I don’t have the patience for years long shit. In my mind “one shot” adventures are things you come up with for today only. 5 sessions is a “mini campaign”.

I try to shoot for 6 sessions usually. That way if there’s an issue with schedules, we can compress it to 4. If nobody has any conflicts, we can stretch it to 8 by adding in a couple surprises. Hash it all out in session 0.

A good DM knows when to use each type of adventure, and a good group will find what they all like together. Up to that point, we had all liked what we were doing, and aside from minor issues here and there, we worked out any problems at the start of each new adventure.

I once spent 6 months leading up to summer to plan out a campaign that would take us 3 months to get through, and while I allowed the team to do whatever they wanted, let’s just say a few villages grew legs to plop down ahead of their path. Not everything was planned, but the bulk of it was there and details could be filled in as we go and they become relevant. Always keep notes.

Then one day, one of the players couldn’t make it, so we still met but with 5 instead of 6. Nobody wanted to play without 6, so they asked me to pull out a side one if I had one. I did not.

So improvisation it is.

Afterward they asked if they could restart and play THIS campaign instead because they felt I had put more thought into it than the previous one.

I’m gonna be honest, I finished the campaign but that comment killed my passion for it because they essentially told me “your plans are shit, we’d rather just have rehashed tired movie plots instead”

It’s been years and my dice still sit on my shelf, notebooks boxed up I don’t even know where. I don’t think any of my character sheets survived my last move either.

I guess I don’t have a point beyond reminiscing

… You DON’T think widdle EB is HOT?

Yeah, but it affects ALL charisma rolls, so it’s effectively just a permanent CHA boost applied directly to the character. No functional difference from naturally high CHA, IMO.

Wait.

It doesn’t work if target doesn’t have LOS, so loophole found, we just have to invent the internet or telephone in-universe to nullify sokka’s advantage.

Edit: or drop a permanent orb of darkness over him so nobody can see what he looks like

I get my prime half off.

The added cost is less than the difference so I’d still be paying less than a regular prime membership.

And even still, I’m canceling the second I get an ad.

Fuck your monetization.