As always, if someone has a good worldbuilding idea, somebody has already thought of it.
As usual, it was Terry Pratchett.

Face paint it is.

It’s only the US and Canada that use “aluminum” though isn’t it? The rest of the world and most languages have it as “-ium”.
Humphrey Davey actually changed his mind and changed it to “-ium” shortly after discovering it.
Also, IUPAC has “Aluminium” as the primary spelling, though both are acceptable.

Can I ask where you got this info from? The article says the bill is 300 pages long. I’m never getting through all that.

Edit: the article also claims age verification for porn sites is still in there?

Or 0.001 football pitches

I think your fag packet calculation has got a power of ten wrong somewhere. Wi-fi is GHz so that would be on the order of centimetres I think.