Yeah but you’re so much prettier when you smile, sweetheart.

You don’t even know what you’re talking about. You want a provider (i.e., hosted) who gives it to you for free, uses “audited” code, but uses only FOSS (so audit it your damn self), which is lightweight on memory (why would you care if you’re not hosting it?).

In what magical fantasy land would someone just give this to you? Shit costs money to run and develop. Your entitlement is laughable. If you don’t like what’s out there, make it your damn self and host it and give it away for free to everybody and see how long you can/want to do that.

Your requirements are impossible. May as well throw in unlimited handjobs and world peace while you’re at it.

Or “When the Saints Go Marching In”, except replace “saints” with the team name.

The woke mind virus RRREEEEEEE

Person: “how do I get healthier?”

Doctor: “lose weight”

Person: shockedpikachu.jpg

Well, faster than you can say “shallow grave”, this pretty little thing come up to me and starts kneadin’ my balls like hard-boiled eggs in a tube sock. Said her name was Bambi and I said, “Well that’s a coincidence darlin’, ‘cause I was just thinkin’ about skinnin’ you like a deer.”

It’s usually an intentional omission. I just think things are funnier when they don’t have punctuation at the end. Makes it feel more like a quip. Only god can judge me

He doesn’t want you to know, but you can tell

that’s sentence

Might be you

At least put the shoelace hole in the right spot, jeeeez

maga jail

I feel like all of the US is in maga jail now

The brain drain is going to devastate science in the US for generations. Totally squandered in a matter of a couple years.

Vodka is one of the lowest-calorie ways to get drunk, so yes.

Don’t forget the dozens of federal felony convictions

I just tried to donate, and the site is overwhelmed. We miss you already, Dolly.

She always did her best to remain apolitical, but basic human decency tends to skew in one particular direction.

And if it’s in the normal range they’ll pass the “test”. Thanks for agreeing with me.

Hilariously, F2Ms will pass his test for “manliness”.

Ehhh… this is my dad’s Samsung tablet. F-droid is a nonstarter for a boomer.