Reduce your mental load to increase your speed: limit yourself to fewer additional stat blocks per encounter (e.g. if there is a boss battle with lair actions, you should ideally have 1, at most 2 additional monster stat blocks on top of that boss). Running something like 4 stat blocks is sufficient cognitive load that there is no way for you to play your monsters optimally and still be fast.

Reduce your reliance on small dice rolls to increase your speed: preroll a table of damage for any given statblock’s actions, so that you can dole it out quickly (still roll the to-hits live tho, in case of crits and misses and reactions, and have misses consume a line from the preroll table too).

Add a low-value off-turn minigame for players to play: I like to make knowledge checks free (History, Nature, Insight, etc). You could allow players the chance to each get 1 free knowledge check in per round, but only off turn. That way if it’s another player’s turn, and they are thinking for a while, you can have the other players roll their knowledge checks and tell you what they are looking for. Resolve them later, at the beginning of those PCs’ turns, which will also keep other players engaged since they are learning new info. Don’t let them ask tho, save it for when you want to provide the distraction.

It sounds like you are talking about D&D 5e 2024 rules. Under those rules, chains are described as follows:

As a Utilize action, you can wrap a Chain around an unwilling creature within 5 feet of yourself that has the Grappled, Incapacitated, or Restrained condition if you succeed on a DC 13 Strength (Athletics) check. If the creature’s legs are bound, the creature has the Restrained condition until it escapes. Escaping the Chain requires the creature to make a successful DC 18 Dexterity (Acrobatics) check as an action. Bursting the Chain requires a successful DC 20 Strength (Athletics) check as an action.

You’ll want to manage a few separate things:

1. A free hand. If you are grappling with one hand, you need another hand free to apply chains. That means you cannot be weilding a shield or a weapon, unless you happen to have some extra appendages (though I think those only exist for legacy 2014 species right now). So if you’re Dwarf, no shield.

2. Action economy. A Utilize action and an Attack action (the latter of which allows you to make an unarmed strike to perform a Grapple) both cost your one Action for the round. You’d need access to some sort of ability that lets you Utilize as a Bonus Action instead. Thief Rogue 3 providea Fast Hands, which does exactly that.

3. DM fiat for easy access to multiple chains. If it is free, or at most only costs an object interaction to get a new chain from your bag, you’re golden. If it costs more action economy to get a chain from your bag, your DM might effectively limit how many chains you can “wear” for easy access. In a home game, this might be a no brainer, but in a westmarch it would likely require a server ruling.

Your best bet to make this work would be a multiclass of Thief Rogue 3, and the rest in Battle Master. The way you could make your action economy work, once you got to Rogue 3 Fighter 5, would be to:

1. hold a Chain in one hand, and have the other free.

2. Take your Action to Attack.

3. Use the first attack of your Extra Attack to Grapple.

4. Assuming you succeed on the grapple, use your Bonus Action to Utilize the chain and Restrain your opponent.

5. Release your grapple, and use your one Object Interaction for the turn to draw a Finesse weapon elegible for Sneak Attack,

6. Use the second attack of your Extra Attack to attack with that weapon with advantage (adding Sneak Attack and optionally a Maneuver).

7. Edit: Optionally, sheathe the weapon for free after this attack, to get both hands free again. You can do the full combo on round 1 and 2, but then have to attack first, sheathe, and then grapple on round 3 (assuming you wanted to do the combo again). Chances are you’ll still be working normal attacks on the first target tho, so its unlikely that the economy of drawing, sheathing, and getting chains every round will truly be necessary.

I think that if you are playing this character from early levels, I would take Battlemaster to 5, and focus on just attacking and using maneuvers to topple or some such, and then at 5 attack and topple, then maybe grapple to keep them prone. Work on the Rogue levels after you have Extra Attack, to be “feature complete”.

You might be able to make some version of this tactic work across two rounds earlier than level 8, but I think it would be more complex and prone to getting disrupted. You can do it once using Action Surge onxe you reach level 5 tho, which is nice.

If your DM is really kind, they might let you Utilize Chains as a BA even without Thief 3. Or maybe as a homebrew Maneuver. That’d probably be the best way to play that fantasy!

Before you roll any dice, the chances of rolling two nat 1s are 1/400. But after you roll your first die, whatever it happened to be, your chances of rolling a nat 1 are 1/20. The chances of the entire scenario have no impact on the probability of the individual rolls

Do you happen to read Brust? This reads very Brust.

Great! Then either talk to her to come up with ideas, or if you’re determined to ask the internet, telegraph your united front in your question so that we don’t assume that the primary reason is that you are a shitty partner. Read your question again, just the words, and see if it sounds like the author actually likes their partner, or wants help from the internet changing them to make this game more fun for themselves?

Anyway.

A live session with just voice chat is already a heavy mental toll for some people. Players and DM alike are filtering and translating ideas through one or more layers (what should be done? would this PC/NPC think to do X? How does doing X look like in this setting? Do they have the materials necessary? Would they countenance doing X based on their personality? What would they say alongside it, with what accent and affect?) in real time. Imagine trying to also type while thinking through those thoughts, and wanting your words to be well written, and your grammar and syntax to be correct, and your immortal words to be self-consistent across multiple posts? AND while you are working on all those things there is also distracting crosstalk? Or worse, you’re in a quiet room typing by yourself, but you know that three or more people are talking about what you’re typing in a little huddle? There is no consistent human response to this situation.

It’s an objectively complex format. Some people may find it easy. Some people may be able to ignore or eschew some of their own internal requirements that are consuming their mental energy and game time. And some people may not, and then external pressure to do so can make them stressed, which makes all of what I wrote harder to manage.

You could go text-only, with multiple text channels (roleplay vs ooc vs initiative) and strict timers, e.g. 5 minutes (which, speaking from personal experience, is also draining) just get rid of the voice chat. Or as others said, go with truly async play-by-post with 24 hour timers. Sure, a single combat may take a week to resolve, but it gives everyone plenty of time to do all of the mental load required to play, without all the pressure of realtime translation.

“Hey, GF, what did you think of this format? I want you to have fun, but I’m worried that you’re not enjoying it. It also seems like there are some unspoken expectations from the others, and I think it’d be good for us to discuss them together to see if we agree with them, and then maybe take our thoughts to the group.”

And then be ready to either defend your GF, as well as open to potentially leaving the group with her if the other players refuse to accommodate.

Just because you think the right solution is for your GF to increase her pacing does not mean that your GF will agree with the premise, and even if she agrees, it doesn’t mean that she can achieve whatever arbitrary standard the group expects.

I haven’t read all of this (short attention span), but the thing that caught my eye was Horrible Scar. I really like the combination of Disadvantage on some cha cheks, balanced with Advantage in others.

I think the reality of detrimental and debilitating lingering injuries disagrees with the power fantasy of TTRPGs for some players, myself included, so I am unlikrly to want to subscribe to a system that is mostly “unfun.” However, if the mechanical aspects of these temporary or permanent effects include some upsides, I as a player will be more likely to consent to the implementation of such a system.

No one wants the reality of a lingering injury, e.g. blindness, yet Daredevil makes us yearn for the superhuman echolocation that he exhibits. Something like “You permanently have the blinded condition, but your other senses are heightened. You have advantage on perception checks made to smell or hear. You also have blindsight to a rafius of 5ft. For every year that you have this condition, your blindsight increases by 5ft, up to a maximum of 30ft. You temporarily lose this sense for 1d4 rounds after taking thunder damage.” As a DM, I would immediately add a Ghost encounter to my todo list, because someone afflicted in this way getting aged up would be a boon!

What is a ‘banna’? I thought you might have meant ‘banana’, but you tripled down so now I’m not sure. The internet only tells me of the Banna Strand, a beach in Ireland

I introduced a “small one story structure, its walls no wider than the span of a single door” next to the farmhouse my players were investigating. They didn’t believe the owners who told them what it was for, and went to check it out for themselves, hackles up and weapons drawn.

It’s an outhouse.

Just an outhouse.

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https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dice

Singular: die or dice

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Make dndbeyond good/better, invest in 3rd party VTT integrations, and keep selling books through those channels. Keep partnering with 3rd party content creators to get a cut of their profits selling through dndbeyond.

I’d stop trying to disrupt the industry or chase massive profits, and just be okay with reasonable profits.

They’d oust me in a week.

I enjoyed watching Harmonquest, the episodes of which have parts video of the table and parts animated story. It’s a comedy show, for the most part, which genre appeals to me. Past, that, I enjoy a good actual play podcast, sans video, like BomBARDed or NaDDPod, both of which are also comedic stories.

Just watching a group play a game can indeed be boring. But if that game is just a format for the genre of entertainment you already enjoy, that’s the appeal.

I’ve found that the least inspiring behaviors of players, from my perspective as a DM, are when they hack and slash in combat. Whether it’s built into the system, or you brew it on, giving players free skill checks alongside (rather than instead of) their normal combat turns can make things significantly more engaging and rewarding (for both them and the DM).

A question to anyone who has the book: how adaptable are the narrator-focused sections to systems that are not A5e? As a 5e DM, am I getting cool stuff, or wasting my money?